I wasn’t good at getting things done until running taught me where I was going wrong. I started running in my late twenties. Within a year I’d signed up for a marathon. But my early enthusiasm didn’t last, and for the next fourteen years I stopped and started more times than I can count. When I finally stopped to reflect on why, it took me less than fifteen minutes to see what I’d been doing wrong. Fifteen years of frustration, fifteen minutes of realisation.
Fifteen years of waiting
I thought the problem was fitness and that I lacked motivation and ability. I was wrong. The real problem was that I was waiting for perfect. The perfect week to start, the perfect training block, an uninterrupted stretch where I could just focus. Funnily enough, it never arrived. Something always got in the way, and I used that as a reason to wait a little longer.
I didn’t see the point in starting an 8-week 10K training plan if I had things planned on run days. But who has 8-weeks with nothing planned? Completely unrealistic. And that’s not taking into consideration all the things that crop up, invitations that are too good to say no to, tired days, long workdays. So, I kept putting it off.
The only way to learn to run is to run. Not perfectly, not at the right time, not with the ideal conditions in place. Just run. Slow is fine. One missed day is fine. The problem only comes when you stop completely and tell yourself you’ll wait for another perfect moment to start again.
One run at a time
Running taught me that things only changed when I stopped waiting and started running properly, consistently, without the conditions attached. I had to let go of the ideas I had about what a runner looked like and what I should be able to do. I took things one run at a time.
This was one of the first things I learned when I started running but quickly forgot. When I trained for my first marathon less than a year after I started running, the shortest run in my plan was 3 miles. I couldn’t run 3 miles. I tried a few times and then realised I had to try something different. So, I forgot about my plan, didn’t worry about what a session ‘should’ve’ been, and focused on running 3 miles. Plotting routes so I knew where I was going was helpful, but my mindset shift made the biggest difference. Focusing on one run and setting myself a goal of completing the distance in whatever way I could. Run, walk, crawl. I told myself I wasn’t coming home until the distance was done. It took a few more sessions, but it worked.
Comparison is pointless
I used a similar approach when I started streaking . Two streaks ended in injury because I was running the way I thought I should. I had to accept that it was OK to run slower than other people; my slow pace was mine, comparison was pointless. Running at a realistic pace and intensity for where I was, rather than where I thought I should be, made the difference. But it was something I had to relearn every time I got back to running after a break. The gap between the runner I was and the runner I thought I should be had been the problem all along.
Recently a friend took up running and was struggling with their breathing. I asked them if they had an idea of how fast they should be running and for how long. They paused and said, yes. My response? You’re running too fast. A week later I checked in with them, they laughed and said they’d been running too fast, and the possibility hadn’t crossed their mind. Their breathing had improved and they were learning from each run.
Every run is a vote
James Clear puts it well: every action is a vote for the person you want to be. Every run is a vote for the runner you want to be. The doubts creep in when you don’t run, because you’re not casting your vote. You’re not building towards the person you want to be, so the distance between who you are and who you want to be stays exactly where it is.
This is why I’m a huge advocate of streaking for people who just want to run consistently. When I started running every day I started to feel like a runner. It slowly became part of who I am. I’ll never be a professional runner, or an objectively fast one, but everyone I know knows I run. I am a runner.
Beyond running
Running taught me more than just how to put one foot in front of the other. It taught me how to approach something I don’t know how to do, how to slow down when slowing down is the right call, how to keep going when conditions aren’t ideal.
Earlier this year I realised something wasn’t working in my coaching business. People didn’t know what I did unless they worked with me. My default would be to stop, regroup, plan and talk. But I needed to regroup and keep going. So, I continued to work on the systems I’d created, mostly social posting and writing articles, while I regrouped. I managed the two processes side-by-side. Things slowed down, but my clarity sped up. I moved forward instead of stopping. But I also made the changes I needed to make.
Running taught me to stop waiting for the moment to be right and starting anyway. One step at a time, at whatever pace you can manage today.
What have you learned from one area of your life that surprised you by applying somewhere else?
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